Most of us are only ever aware of our cervix under three circumstances:

1) during medical examination

2) when it hurts in sex or otherwise

3) during childbirth when something along the lines of "What? A baby's head is gonna come out of something that size? Are you kidding me?" is frequently heard.

In my training and experience as a sex and relationships coach, I have been gifted plenty of opportunity to explore and work with my own cervix, and to examine this area of my body more deeply on several levels. As a result, what I can say is that the cervix is a part of our bodies that warrants the time and attention.

Possibly the most tender and complex part of our feminine anatomy (and certainly the most enervated), the cervix can open up whole other areas of previously unexplored emotion, physiology, pleasure sensation and energetics for a woman. In other words, your cervix is more than worth the bother.

Before you start diving in there expectantly though, it is good to first understand that the exact position of a woman's cervix varies.  (Interestingly, it also varies within one woman according to her state of arousal or her menstrual cycle.)

In other words, the cervix can be found low in the vagina canal, or it can be higher. She can even point off to one side or the other too - the cervix is not necessarily positioned straight down in a nice, neat and linear fashion. She is an organ in our body that moves.

One thing about the cervix is fairly reliable though - the cervix always list at the bottom of the womb. So you can think about the cervix like the gateway. She looks like a tiny opening, and is the guardian that keeps anything from travelling further up and inside. (Unless it's a sperm cell, natch.)

One thing I know:

When it comes to female sexuality, there is never one universal answer.  

So when we ask a question such as "what does a cervical orgasm feel like?"  All I can say is that this is what mine feels like. That's the small caveat here. This experience may not be yours. But basically, yes, I have had them. So I am willing to stand by the fact that they exist. I am also happy to tell you that I do enjoy the sensation of cervical orgasms. (Though I will also admit, they come much less easily and are much more rare than other types of climax I've experienced.)

From studying female sexuality in more depth, I can also tell you that there is more evidence to support this assertion that cervical orgasm exists too. Not least because the cervix is the most enervated sexual organ we have. In fact, it surprised me to learn that the cervix is the most enervated organ in the entire body. According to Dr Barry Komisaruk - a doctor of psychology at Rutgers University and co-author of "The Science of Orgasm" -  the cervix is the only organ that has three sets of paired nerves attached to it. The pelvic nerve, the hypo-gastric nerve, and the vagus nerve.

So why wouldn't we experience orgasm there then? In the light of all those nerves,  you would think we would be having cervical orgasms all over the damn place!

Another really incredible aspect of the cervix is that it can send signals and nerve messages to the brain independently of the spinal column. This is amazing news for anyone with a spinal injury, for example. Those of you who've read and Naomi Wolfe's book Vagina, and followed her journey through spinal healing and recovery of sexual sensation as a result? I'm hoping you'll find it as amazing as I did to learn that it is possible to have sexual experience completely outside of the spine. In other words your cervix and your brain communicate directly. What a revelation!

But let's get back to my cervical orgasms for a minute. The only way I can describe them is that they feel deeper.  I feel more surrendered when I climax here than in any of the other orgasmic centres of my body. Cervical orgasms somehow feel more total and more complete. 

(This is not to say that other orgasms are not valid of course. Let's not get competitive with ourselves here. Performance anxiety plagues us women as it is -  for example how many of us are hung up on squirting? How many of us feel less than complete because we've never experienced orgasms from our cervix? How many of us feel less of a woman because we've never orgasmed at all?)

Even more interesting to me than this kind of female self-competitive streak,  is also the fact that it is actually very common for women to feel completely numb at the cervix. It's not that they don't feel turn on there - it's more that they don't feel anything there. Which - considering we have triple the amount of nerves in this area to any other in our body -  is rather an alarming thought, don't you think? 

For example,  if you put your attention now on your clitoris or your vagina, chances are you might feel some sensation. (In fact, I recommend doing this several times a day. Just for the pure pleasure of it.) But when asked to think about their cervix, women typically find it much harder to tune into any felt sense whatsoever. Is this because the cervix is the deepest and potentially most vulnerable aspect of our sex? Is it because she can receive the most procedures and examinations? Have we shut her down as a result of all this intrusion, even as we realise the importance of keeping our bodies well-maintained on a medical front?

Or are there other reasons?

Why on earth can't we feel her?

Obviously, given the position of the cervix,  depth of penetration is important if you actually want to reach her. 

However, there is another much more important consideration when it comes to cervical orgasm in my opinion. Because experience has shown me, and also in my experience of coaching women in this area, that the cervix opens only in safety.

(To be honest, I would make this statement about feminine orgasm full stop. But never is it more true than when we come to the cervix. In another words - the cervix is a part of our body that needs to feel very, very safe in order for her to be able to open and for us to be able to access sensation there.  Given this, it makes sense  that she's hidden all the way up inside.)

But it is also interesting to note, on the subject of safety,  that research has shown what happens inside the brain with MRI scans during female orgasm. At the point of climax,  it has been identified that a woman's fight or flight centre in the brain completely lets go of control. (You can read about that study here.)

So in other words, the reptilian brain that governs our fight or flight stress response, needs to know it is safe to turn off and let go. And if it is not safe, the surrender just won't happen. And for sure - perhaps because of the innate connection between the brain and the cervix - the cervix will definitely not open if there is still any sense of danger remaining in the nervous system.

This is super interesting for us to know because, if I'm really honest, I have not come across a woman today who doesn't have some sense of danger embedded in her nervous system. Just growing up female in a western culture includes a certain amount of sexual trauma. We grow up guarded.

Plus it's true to say that any type of trauma can affect the sexual centre, even if it if was not sexual in nature to begin with. Just the impact of the stress response on the nerves and feelings will be enough to shut down sensation in order to preserve your life. The freeze descends. And we numb out.

Opening to cervical orgasm then almost always involves unfreezing. It involves coming up against where the stress response may have got stuck in our systems, so that we can finally begin to turn it off and experience the depth of surrendered pleasure the cervix might have in store for us.

And because this is something that must be done very gently, with great self-care and self attunement, it's impossible for me to describe a step-by-step process for opening yourself to sensation at the level of the cervix in an article such as this one. Normally, it will involve expert guidance, and a process of softening and listening to yourself over a period of time.

The good thing however, is that this can be a delicious process to undergo. And the rewards are great as I have mentioned. Pleasure, along with everything else at the cervix level, just goes deeper and deeper.

The cervix changes position during your menstrual cycle and during a state of arousal, as I have mentioned. For example, at full arousal your cervix is pulled higher up into it into your pelvic bowl, ensuring that it is less likely to be bashed or bruised by any object such as a penis. (A large contributor to sexual pain is often because we have been penetrated before we are truly ready, and the cervix is still hanging low and is vulnerable to the thrusting.)

Please be aware then, that when we talk about more deeply penetrative positions and techniques that will reach your cervix,  you really do want to be at the height of your arousal before you embark upon using them. 

Positions

Sexual positions that allow you to experiment with penetrative depth are highly recommended. Now I could tell you a few, but I recently came across this on the internet and to be honest, it seems like a work of genius to me. 110 different sex positions to play with. (All heterosexual, but of course dildo or strap on friendly too. And fairly adventurous to boot. My partner told me I could forget number one for starters :).) So have fun and let me know which you prefer.

Toys

With a sex toy, it is advisable to have something with a long reach such as the toys shown below. You basically want something that can fit all the way in easily, and can be compressed gently against your cervix when she is ready to receive the contact. (You can always used the tried and tested jade egg too.)

If you are completely new to cervical penetration, a sex toy is really recommended as a beginning. This is because you can maintain total control and calibrate the safety of your experience slowly as you dive in. Compared to the "119 Sex Positions" guide above, going in slowly and with more control may pale in comparison. But take it from me, I have found the feminine orgasm to be a particular kind of animal. One that needs respect and deep acceptance and care if she is to fully respond with her ecstatic potential. Sometimes slower is most definitely better.

You may have heard of the term cervical de-armoring? It is gaining popularity in mainstream culture, and has long been a part of tantric practice and is very well known in the tantric community across the world. I mention this here because de-armoring - whilst very similar to self-play - follows a structured map of pressure points, and can also be carried out by a partner or practitioner too. (Which can take the surrender even deeper.)

Plus the benefits are amazing.

As I wrote previously, more often than not a woman's cervix can feel numb either through medical/surgical procedures or just good old nervous system shutdown. So beginning to de-armor the cervix can therefore lead to increased sensation, increased blood flow, increased health and increased pleasure if this is the case. Indeed, a de-armoring experience feels much like a deep, slow, internal massage. It can hurt a little too. But much like a massage that hits the spot - the pain should feel like a good, releasing pain.

Which brings us back to enervation.

We mentioned the fact that the cervix is connected to the vagus nerve.

This is actually really important as I will explain. 

You can see from this picture that the vagus nerve travels all the way down to the cervix and is in fact a route for communication between sex and brain and back again. Now as it is routinely cited that the brain is the biggest sex organ in the body, and studies show how much the brain activity is responsible for sexual pleasure, you can understand then that this is one nerve flow that we do not want to interrupt. In fact, we want that vagus nerve flowing well and communicating richly in both directions.

It is also known however, that the vagus nerve can get blocked, and the health of all connected physical systems can deteriorate as a result. But the really good news is that through various techniques, the vagus nerve can actually be healed. We can bring that communication back to life.

And yep. You guessed it. Seeing as our cervix is so deeply connected to this nerve, cervical de-armoring is a powerful way to begin this healing process and start recovering the health of our vagal tone.

Personally I find this hugely exciting. We can make contact with, and improve the free communication along, the pathway of the vagus nerve through cervical stimulation alone. In other words, the cervix gives us access to powerful trauma healing too.  Because the vagus nerve is responsible for our ventral vagal system - which oversees the parasympathetic (or rest and digest) part of our autonomic nervous system. And it is this parasympathetic system that often gets stuck or under-used in the modern woman who lives constantly in a state of disembodied drive.

So opening and restoring nervous system balance through cervical pleasure is a thing. It is a tool.

This correlates absolutely with my own felt experience of cervical orgasm too. I have found it to be the most calming and releasing of all my orgasms. The most deeply surrendered. The one that has my system fill with peace and serenity after I've experienced it. And yes. I would go so far as to say a climax that has me feel like my whole nervous system has been refreshed, soothed and restored back to life. Suddenly the constant buzz of a fight or flight filled existence, is but a dim memory.

This is feminine power if you ask me. This is the reclamation of a vibrant and alive sexuality that is communicating with and being communicated with by our brain. This is a healthy nervous system and everything that means for our lives and the lives of those around us.

The cervix is a tremendously powerful spot therefore for our innate well-being as women.

And it gets even better. 

It gets transcendent. If I'm honest.

In fact, the more your delve into this subject and into tantric traditions that include cervical de-armoring knowledge as a part of their lineage, the more you can feel sure the ancients must have known of this cervix brain connection too.

For example, both Indian and Chinese tantric traditions contain some version of an exercise known as the micro-cosmic orbit. Which is, essentially, a circuit that uses sexual energy and begins in the sexual centre and then travels around the body in a certain pattern for health, well being and ecstasy. No matter the tradition though, the micro-cosmic orbit always starts at the root chakra - which is at the cervical opening in a woman. And it always travels through the brain and back down again. The sex and brain connection is utilised and nourished by tantra. And the source of the sexual energy is the cervix itself. Boom.

Plus, in a cosmic sense, the cervix is the entrance to a woman's creative sexual centre, or her womb. And whereas life is literally birthed out of the portal that is the cervix, so too is the cervix a portal back to the one-ness and altered dimension of sexual spiritual ecstasy. A power portal in every way. A gateway to birth and bliss. A portal to the truth of life itself.

(If you are interested to learn more about the micro-cosmic orbit you can read about my jade egg course here, where we go more into this technique.)

So to recap.

The cervix moves.

The cervix is the most enervated organ in the body

The cervix is generally felt to be completely numb by women.

Cervical orgasm is possible and deeply surrendered.

Cervical de-armoring has huge benefits including helping to restore vagal nerve tone (and therefore the health of our nervous systems)

You can use toys and techniques to reach the cervix.

You are advised to recruit a guide or join a course (such as mine...Well, I would say that. But it's also true.)

The cervix is a huge energetic centre.

Which, all in all, leads me to loop back to the very place I started at the beginning of this article. In saying that time spent with your cervix, is time very well spent indeed.

Because why not?

Because it's in our anatomy.

Because we own it.

Because it's a power source.

Because it was ever and always meant to be this way.

I'll leave you with some words by DH Lawrence. A man who, I believe, both knew and worshipped the female cervical orgasm well.

She dared to let go everything, all herself and be gone in the flood. And it seemed she was like the sea, nothing but dark waves rising and heaving, heaving with a great swell, so that slowly her whole darkness was in motion, and she was Ocean rolling its dark, dumb mass. 

DH Lawrence, Lady Chatterly's Lover.