How to Make a Woman Squirt
The ability to let go is an essential factor in female ejaculation...
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How to make a woman squirt is one of the most popular questions I get asked as a sex and relationships coach - and most of the time (which is rather encouraging) it is asked by women!
In this first instalment of a 2 part blog series, I have a look at some of the common myths around squirting, and settle the score on female ejaculation once and for all.
Next week, I will offer up a series of steps that I take my female clients who are interested in ejaculation through - the ABC of how to make a woman squirt.
So tune in next week too if this topic is of interest to you!
'Cos who wants to pee during sex?
It used to be that the very question of how to make a woman squirt was not even on the agenda - historically, when women had an experience of flooding or bed wetting, or even squirting liquid like a fountain during sexual stimulation - the whole thing was a bit of an enigma to them. And whilst for many it was still a hugely pleasurable sensation - still for many others their experience was imbued with self-disgust and shame.
'Cos who wants to pee during sex?
Fast forward to our current times, female ejaculation and how to make a woman squirt through focussing on stimulation of the g-spot is a phenomena. It is frequently represented - indeed sought after - in porn. It is now a subject oft talked about when women get into conversations about their sex lives too. And the term "squirting" is born.
"Do you squirt?"
"Have you ever squirted?"
"How to make a woman squirt?"
On the one hand, this means that a whole other dimension is added to our "successful sex critieria", and some women now feel inadequate if they don't squirt. Or if they don't squirt enough. (Sigh. When will our self-censoring, self-appraising, performance-oriented approach to sex ever begone from our psyches?)
Still, on the other hand, the resurgence in interest in feminine ejaculation is surely a cause for celebration?
ORGASM TALKS
Because if participants in my online course ORGASM are anything to go by, g-spot climax is viewed as a real prize. There is always a lot of excitement when the g-spot module opens.
And actually, I am always super glad to open this module too! Because in my opinion education is a key component of being able to let go of the false pressures we subject ourselves to as women, and to being able to come into a healthy relationship with our own sexuality. And if learning how to make a woman squirt is what's wanted - then how to make a woman squirt is what I will offer!
Thankfully for us all - this is a path that's been trodden by sex positive women and educators for several decades before us. So ORGASM is standing on the shoulders of giant(esses), so to speak.
It wasn't until the late 1970s that researchers and feminists began talking about female ejaculate and the g-spot. That is not so very long ago. Around this time, several studies were published, and books written. Down the line, online courses like mine established to help women identify and enjoy their own ejaculation too.
Seeing as you have found yourself in my field and on this blog post, I am reckoning there is a good chance you are interested in the art of learning how to make a woman squirt, g-spot stimulation and feminine ejaculation also!
But easy tiger 🙂 Next week I will get to the how to.
This week - let's try and pull apart some of the key myths I have learned around squirting, and break them apart so we can have a bit more love and approval for our own bodies. Clearing the slate before we go in is a great place to start I find.
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common myths about squirting...
Isn't it Just Like Urine Though?
It feels remarkably like peeing, yes. But it isn't. I remember the first time I ejaculated and I was mortified - I truly believed I had wet the bed. The reason for this is because female ejaculate is produced in the feminine prostate gland, which lives just behind the g-spot. And the liquid secretion that this gland produces leaves the body through the urethra - so the exact same place as urine. But a completely different fluid. (Some urine can leak with ejaculate if your pelvic floor is weak and you have some incontinence anyway - but this can be improved by using pelvic floor exercises or by working with your jade egg to strengthen and tone. Most women find it is actually hard to pee when aroused - if you have ever tried to pee when turned on you may have experienced this.)
If It's Not a Fountain It's Not Squirting
Sometimes, but not always, a veritable fountain unleashes. However, when most women squirt, the ejaculate amount is typically anywhere between a teaspoon and half a cup of liquid. Many women's experience this release like a small flood, which leaves a puddle or a wet patch on the surface you are on. Squirting like a fountain is fun, but is honestly not possible for everyone. And to have the enormous gushing fountains you might typically see in porn often takes a youthful, strong but supple pelvic floor. (Plus most porn stars will douche before filming and practice releasing the fluid as they climax like a circus trick. Don't compare yourself to this.)
Squirting Only Takes Place During Climax
Sometimes, but not always. In fact, it is perfectly possible to release ejaculate before, during and after sex. In fact, ejaculation and climax are two separate and distinct physiological events (and this is true in women and men out of interest.)
You Need a Vibrator for the G-Spot
Women often report that their g-spot feels numb or out of reach. But with time and practice, you can definitely bring your g-spot back to life and experience the unique types of pleasure and climax that are available there. The gentler the better when it comes to the g-spot, as you have to remember that this is a gland. Vibrations are the not best way to wake sensation up. Think of your g-spot like an organ of the body - as that is what it is. You wouldn't necessarily put a vibrator on an internal organ under normal circumstances.
Vaginal Fluids and Female Ejaculate Are The Same Thing
Not so. Vaginal fluid is created in the Bartholins glands on each side of the vagina. Ejaculate is prostatic fluid created by the 32 ducts and glands of the female prostate. It is totally clear and has no smell.
Squirting Isn't Possible For Every Woman and It Cannot Be Learned
f you have a prostate gland as a woman you have the capacity to ejaculate. All women are born with this anatomical capacity. It is totally possible for women to learn how to ejaculate. It involves letting go and relaxing more, but it is a skill that can be practiced and honed for sure.
In summary
So here's the thing. In summary, if you are interested in finding your elusive g-spot and experiencing feminine ejaculation, then it is highly possible for you. I happen to believe that there is very little that women cannot put their minds to if there is something they want enough!
There is a certain quality to a g-spot orgasm and female ejaculation that is hard to describe - perhaps it can best be said to be more surrendered and relaxing than a normal clitoral climax. For example, the clit is so sensitive that you can easily bring climax to that area even in the midst of anger or despair or any other generally contracted state. (Providing you can experience orgasm of course - remember that at least 10% of the female population cannot.)
Not so with the g-spot orgasm and learning how to squirt however.
There is a certain art and letting go that needs to happen if a woman wants to be able to do this.
Tune in next week where I've got you covered with a list of recommended steps to learn how. I'll see you there!
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With love
Julia
Categorised in: Pleasure and Orgasm
This post was written by Julia