Sisterhood – Rules of Play

Yes. Shit happens. People treat you bad. As magical women we know this, but we concern ourselves with the part we played first and foremost. Why? Well. We believe we co-create bad vibes. However, we know that power lies in the place where we get interested in how we did that to ourselves through another person. 

For example - if your friends do not show you care. We ask how you are not actively demonstrating care for yourself. This can feel brutal at times. When it comes to another woman, don't expect sympathy. Expect to become impeccable in your relationships instead.

A way to create strong community and sisterhood is to promise yourself to never speak badly about another sister behind her back, unless yoi are specifically asking for help from another to get yourself back into relational self-responsibility.

Natch. Get yourself straight. We are (mostly) online so this is less likely to happen. But hey - they fact that you want to fuck another woman's partner is not the problem. Doing it without her consent on the other hand is massively destructive to our sense of sisterhood.

This way we get to own our desire, and feel safe in owning our desire. Because our commitment to not crossing one another's boundaries is sacred.

Wanna know the number one way sisters get envious? They see another sister having what they want when they won't even allow thmselves to want it, let alone have it.

Which leads me to....

This one is a practice. Don't worry. Your desire muscle will get worked with me for sure.

You are courageous. Ferocious. Like the mother of dragons. You don't need to hide. And if you do? We can feel it. We are more likely to dislike you, actually, than if you just said the thing. If you are accustomed to hiding? We will collectively and gently expect you to unravel this habit in sisterhood. (Scary right? And exciting. Just imagine.)

Want to know the number one way that sisters block their receptivity? They get entitled. It's almost like it takes so much to forgive ourselves for wanting what we want, that we begin to get a bit annoyed and bolshy when our desires don't arrive on time.

Never take another sister for granted. Nobody owes you a thing, actually. Consent is consent. If something belongs to someone - a person, a list of customers, an idea.... acknowledge that and ask if you can share.

Bit of a twist on the "taking without asking" rule above. We get very unconscious about asking for what we need. We carry so much shame about our deepest needs, truly. One of the ways we escape feeling this inner shame is by getting into codependent entanglements with other women. This looks something like well last week I spent an hour listening to you and so now it's your turn I'll be round in a minute....

If you give to other women in one of my containers, please do so freely and without assumption of reciprocation. We've all got enough going on, frankly. We don't want to carry the weight of your expectations on top.

You will truly lead by example if you follow this one. We have to unlearn extraction. Most of all we need to unlearn extracting from ourselves. Let's remind each other when we are doing this. And help one another to not continue with this destructive pattern. Nobody benefits in the end from a depleted woman. We tune into our bodies more and more and listen to her complaints.

Like I say. As within so without. Classic magic. We play here in the sphere of the belief that your subconscious creates an energetic imprint that interacts with the world and draws it back to itself.

It's not the only truth at play. You may have been genuinely harmed. That may have been completely random and unfair. In my containers however, we agree to play in the arena of taking a look at where we might be resonating and drawing in the attack. Instead of blaming the sisterhood for it.

This is advanced level stuff, and if you have been genuinely victimised by something or someone, you may also need support in thrashing out the anger, rage and victimised nervous system state that life probably put you in. We have huge compassion for the victims here. I have been personally victimised. We don;t bypass the healing of the victim state. We just don't focus on it much. So if you come in to play with magic then you are actively choosing to try a different belief system on for a while. You don't get to blame me if that ends up feeling bad. You may need to enlist a different type of support in tandem to my container. Buyer beware. 

Path of feminine magic 101. 

Sometimes women I coach come to me and complain that they're feeling worse.

Wanna know what I say to them?

I tell them it's a success - that they're feeling at all.

The path of feminine magic demands that we open to feeling more. Almost everything we want is on the other side of this opening, actually. It's a crucial skill.

In my containers we learn ways to work with these emerging feelings and to alchemise them or move them through so that they become a part of your inner, creative force. And not something that overwhelms or holds you back. The feminine is a tour de emotional force. God I love her.

This is the bit where I remind you that I am not your guru.

I cannot exploit you. Not unless you want me to. (The path of self-responsibility, remember?) 

I am another woman on this practice path, ultimately. I am in complete devotion to the remembrance of feminine magic, yes. But everything I say is an invitation. Nothing I say is a demand to believe.

My deepest hope for you is that you "try" on the concepts and the practices that you learn with me. And that you take from them what feels true to you. Nothing more. Nothing less. 

Oh this one is such a doozie, right?

Ever found yourself comparing yourself to another in the sisterhood online? Being better or worse than her? And sometimes both within a few minutes of the other?

Please practice humility in these spaces. The number one way I get women out of this "I am better/worse than you" state of mind is by enlisting her to help. 

See a woman who has something you want? Congratulate her. Celebrate her. Get closer to her and let her energetic resonance rub off on you. Ask if you can contribute to her success. 

Energy has a way of moving through us. If you see someone who want what you have? Do something generous for them so they might get closer to having it.

For example the friend of mine who knew I had 250 IG followers for years. (Still might have actually.) Who let me go on her podcast in front of everyone else who was asking 'cos she had quarter of a million listens. She knew it would help. ANd guess what. For her, the energy keeps on flowing.

Pass it on, ladies. It will grow for all of us when you do this.

One of the biggest ways we break our capacity for magic is by saying we will do something and then not doing it. 

Personally, I believe the universe is listening. Like, how will you handle the millions if you can't handle your rent?

You may disagree with the fact that you have to make agreements with people in the first place. You may wish you were living in a jungle without money and making love to at least 5 people in the tribe on a regular basis. (OK maybe that's just me.) But the fact is, you promise things to people. 

You promise money. You promise time. You promise follow through on actions.

The field of women is massively compromised when we fall into a kind of empathic soup of feeling sorry for one another. Rather than holding one another accountable to what we said we would do.

That shalt commit to making small, daily changes and refuse to chase after the big things without seeing them appear in the small

You are brilliant. We know this. Be generous with your brilliance and let it rub off on the sisterhood. Talent is not a scarce resource. The more you share it, the more other women in this field will find the permission to share it.

Complaint likes company. In fact, it spreads like wildfire. Try to keep the flames of your own annoyance, complaint and dissatisfaction to a minimum. You will feel better and less scarce as a result.

If you have a complaint about one of my containers - bring it to me and see if I can help.

We get it. You can do empathy. You may even do it in that hand on heart way that shows us just how good you are at empathy.

Empathy is cool and all.

It's just horrifically overused in feminine spaces and pretends to be sisterhood, when it often is not.

We can't rely, on the end, on our mutual complaints and hurts.

We agree here to be lifted instead, by one another's emerging power.

Enough said. 

Desire is the portal.

Devotion is the path.

Take me God.

Do your worst. Do your best.

I'm down.

At your service.

It's. Just. So. Hot. In. The. End.