6 Ways to Get Your Sexy Back
Once upon a time I was a working mum who had it all.
what's your pleasure type?
In my coaching biz I have found women tend to fall into one of four, distinct pleasure types. Curious to find out which one of these pleasure types you might be? Take my quiz below, and receive a free, personalised video giving you tips and tricks specific to your type to help increase your pleasure threshold exponentially!
How I Forgot My Pleasure
Pretty much everything I ever wanted I either had, or was on the way to having:
The school run.
The work deadlines.
The relationship.
The home and car.
The holidays to Tuscany.
The to do lists.
The blazing ambition.
The enviable wardrobe. (Or at least in the making, cos this is a never-ending project, right?)
But you know, one day I woke up to the reality.
Cinderella was so stressed and exhausted she barely had time to think. Plus she was ageing. Which was shit.
She had put on 50lbs, developed an immune disorder, and was running from one obligation to the next without savouring anything at all.
Even her good times had become just another box ticked. And frankly, the Prince who went the extra mile and found the shoe that fit? Honest to God, it turned out he was making less effort on a daily basis, and was a pain in the ass most of the time too.
Sound familiar, ladies?
Well me too.
It was like one day I woke the fuck up and realised I felt like I was well on the way to having everything I ever wanted in my life, but that I wasn't enjoying any of it at all.
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💥 5 days to reclaim your juice;
💥 Fall in love with being a woman;
💥Remember how good it can feel to be in your body;
💥Amplify your sense of pleasure;
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💥Rocket fuel your turn on for life.
The Pleasure Problem:
So I went on an adventure. Because in the end it actually kills a woman to live like this. And thankfully, I still had enough juice left in my body and mind to just .... stop.
I wanted to know where I was in all of this, and who I was, and what I actually wanted. Like really deep down wanted.
And here’s what I found.
I had a real problem with pleasure.
I had been trying to hard for so many years, pushing against my innate pleasure source (aka my own female body) for so long, that it's like I had lost touch with my essential feminine power source. I had forgotten how to slow down and savour. To taste everything for real.
And so I set about changing that for good. By committing to a simple pleasure practice. Every day.
And whilst it was unfortunately true that Cinderella would never actually be 20 years old again.
I did find that Cinderella had evolved.
With access to pleasure, Cinderella was more than just a smiling, robotic, people pleasing good girl in an older body.
In fact, she was kind of like Tilda Swinton, graceful but with boobs and cellulite.
Or maybe Vivienne Westwood without the legacy (YET 
).
Marie Forleo without the millions (YET 
).
Definitely a bit of Sinead "who gives a fuck if they think I'm mad I literally don't give a fuck" O' Connor.
Eartha Kitt without the smoking habit. Patti Smith without the guitar. A little bit Jennifer Aniston without the abdominals..
In other words.... she got herself a life.
Some Really Simple Ways to Get More Pleasure
Turns out there was juice in my body yet. Against all the odds, there was access to sexy. And there was most definitely a deep need for the pleasure of a good time. Like real, embodied, slowed down pleasure.
Once I found this access to power then, I can tell you there was no letting go. And so in order to save you the time and headaches I went through trying to get to this place, I thought I would let you know my top 6 tips for getting more pleasure in.
Quickly.
Before you die of exhaustion, despair and a list of things to do.
You're welcome.
Timetable Your Pleasure
Timetable your pleasure. Literally. If you wake up and think your day is filled, take the time to write down your entire schedule for the day. Then find those moments in the day where you can do something you will really really love to do. Maybe that's a ten minute dance break. Maybe that's standing barefoot outside on the earth or in your garden if you have one for ten minutes every day. Maybe that's reading a novel for 30 minutes before you cook supper. Remind yourself of what it is you love, and take it seriously enough to fit in between everything else. Your pleasure will love you for this. I recommend you schedule 5-10 of these pleasure doses every day.
Cull Commitments
You are going to have to be ruthless about this and make brutal choices. Mama Gena says she only ever allows herself to handle three things at once - for example a creative project, the children, the job. (To be honest, even that looks like a lot to me.) As women, generally speaking, we can handle a lot. Pretty much we can often handle it all. And so we do. Until we don't....this is my invitation to you to cull your list of things you are managing. Maybe don't start the exercise regime until you finished your book. That kind of thing. Let me know what you will cut and what you will concentrate on in the comments below.
Know What You Want
Women are often vague about their desire. And yet, desire is electric power. Ask yourself often - what do I want? Ask it especially when you catch yourself complaining - oh okay what desire, if granted, would make this complaint go away? Make a list of your desires - from the silliest to the deepest or least socially acceptable. Write them down. And if you are feeling really brave, pin the list up somewhere where friends and family can see. Let them know they can fulfil those desires anytime too 😉
Visualise Your Inner Pleasure Goddess
Layla Martin says that you become what you worship. Perhaps it's time you started worshipping your pleasure then? Try to visualise her and see what comes in your mind's eye. What does she look like? What is she wearing? How does she talk and move? If it helps you can draw her - or start a collage of magazine clips. Then put her somewhere special - maybe an altar or somewhere you know you can keep her precious. Every time you pass her, make her an offering of worship. Could be a small nod. Could be some flower petals. Could be an evening prayer or meditation session that you dedicate to her. This is a really beautiful way to generate more embodied pleasure in your life.
Let Pussy Lead
Every time you have a decision to make - ask your pussy. I'm not even joking. Breathe into her and cultivate a felt sense relationship on a daily basis with your sexual centre. Let her feed you, dress you, direct you. Every day.
Find Sisterhood
Get the right type of sisterhood in your life. Cull the bitches - you so do not need women like that in your field. Grow friendships with women who root for you and for your pleasure in life. Connect with women who are willing to believe in you and to stand for your power. I am in the enviable position of literally having kickass women friends just about everywhere in the world I would ever want to go. From Los Angeles to Auckland, from London to Singapore. These women have changed my life, they help me remember myself and who I am whenever I forget. And I want that for you too. Make it an urgent priority. And in case you were wondering where to start, you can join my community of sisters here for free right now.
remember what it was like to feel good?
The Pleasure Portal is a unique, 5 module online mini-course, designed to help you re-access your turn on for life and remember how good it can feel to be a woman again.
Structured to fit into an active lifestyle for immediate impact with absolute ease, treat yourself to 5 days of focussing on what actually matters.
YOU.
You'll be amazed at how little you actually have to DO in order to FEEL alive again.
I've taken hundreds of women through this portal, and I am so happy to be able to invite you, too, to experience the life-changing magic that pleasure reclamation is. I hope to see you in there!
With love
Julia
Categorised in: Pleasure and Orgasm
This post was written by Julia