EP19: Asking and Inner Legitimacy


There is a reason that approval is one of the codes of power I teach in my online temple, and that is that:

Once we approve of what we want - like really, deeply approve of it - it  is much easier for the world to give it to you.

Think of someone you know, if you don't believe me.

(Sadly, men are inherently trained to be much better at this than women, so it may be a male of the species who springs to mind.)

Think manspreading for example. Or mansplaining. 

Whilst you might be annoyed by these behaviour traits, perhaps the most annoying thing is that you won't let yourself behave with that much right to the space at hand?

In other words - if you picture this man, You can feel it has a type of gravity. And that the world responds accordingly. I mean, the feminists will shout at him. But mostly, the world just gives him whatever the fuck he wants.

This is the power of approval.

And this is also what I want for you. (Maybe not the 'spreading or the 'splaining. But the capacity to do it if it serves you in that moment. The capacity to dominate when necessary. And sometimes, it IS necessary, right?)

I remember once I had been treated badly by a lover. I just happened to bump into him on the street after the effect. 

He looked a little afraid, I'll admit. He knew, deep down, that he had broken his word to me - his entire body language conveyed this knowing. Even if, on the surface, he would deflect and try to wriggle out of an admission, still his body felt some shame for how he had acted. And it looked as though he was bracing  for impact, that I might be about to stride in, guns blazing as it were.

Instead, I was versed in the game of inner legitimacy. Of conveying, in my body, complete and utter approval for what it was I wanted.

Before I opened my mouth then, I took a few seconds to clarify in my own mind.

What was it I wanted?

When I understood this, I applied the salve of approval.

Yes. I was allowed to have it. 

I wanted respect. Decent behaviour. Integrity.

As I began to speak I conveyed this to him simply. There was no fight in me. No sense of needing to battle (fight is a strategy that comes from a lack of self-approval, ultimately.)

I simply stated what I expected and needed with complete inner legitimacy. 

And I had this sense like the whole universe swooned. Like of course.... 

His nervous system was swayed also. I could see him react. He was also of course.

Amazingly, he apologised. He took my request on board. he had no need to fight back because I presented him with zero resistance. He approved of my needs.

And that was that.


Imagine for a moment how your life might pan out if you applied this kind of self-approval into every aspect of it. 

This week's podcast is all about how to make that happen NAME. I wholeheartedly recommend you tune in and grab yourself a listen right now by clicking this link



Some snippets for your delectation below..



The Temple is my online membership offering that brings together women from all over the world to learn the kickass, graceful undoing that is true feminine power, and to unlearn what we have been taught thus far about our limitations as women.

Think collective spellbreaking.

Think the claiming of more, personally.

Think fun, love and online badassery..


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This post was written by Julia